Done with the shame game, coming out of the shadows

(Why I unleashed Ginger Shades)

If you were to meet me you might say I’m polite, pleasant, the girl next door even. An active parent, a good citizen. A coupon clipping, recipe trading, Minivan driving, soccer mom of sorts. I am all these things, but I have a secret, I’m a naughty sex kitten, a voluptuous vixen, In Laymen’s terms, I like sex. No, let me correct that, I love sex. If it’s with my boyfriend or by myself, my sexually appetite is off the charts. I love the fact that I’m a woman in her 40’s who is always at the ready to straddle her boyfriend and fuck him until he forgets his name. I enjoy spending an afternoon in my favorite adult toy store looking for the next toy to add to my arsenal. I have a very healthy libido and I’m damn proud of it.

I’ve always known that I was a sexually being. In grade school when my little friends were playing with the latest Malibu Barbie’s, I wanted to go play with little Scotty in the coat closet and kiss him with my tongue. When finding the Playboy and Hustler magazines my brothers hid at the bottom of the laundry hamper, I never blushed or giggled at the images I saw. I studied them to have full appreciation of the female body. I was also a young girl who developed early. I had hips, curves and tits going in to the 5th grade. This made me the victim of much bulling, but it gave me the awareness of just how powerful one’s sexually can be.

Before I hit puberty, I saw my first porn. Yes, this was probably not the best thing to be exposed to at such an early age, but often my parents left me in the supervision of my brothers, and they were terrible babysitters. I was usually left on my own, in front of the TV with a cherry Slurpee and a bag of Doritos, while they went off to smoke weed with their buddies or get laid by their current girlfriend of the week. Now back in the day there was this marvelous new thing that came into homes across America, Cable TV. The few cable channels that were out there showed soft porn in late night hours; Does anyone remember Cinemax’s “Friday Nights After Dark”? I was mesmerized by what I saw. The full penetration, the various positions, the moaning and groaning I heard, the oral acts and the full release sprayed all over the tan back of some young porn starlet, it just blew my mind.

Now with this introduction to porn another thing came in to my life, masturbation. However, it was far too difficult to find private time to masturbate living in a home full of brothers. So, I really did not masturbate regularly until I was in my early 20’s or the periods in-between boyfriend. This is when I discovered that wonderful world or vibrators and dildos. I’ve had many boyfriends in my lifetime and have had sex with most of them, but I’ve always felt with most of them (except two) that there was something lacking in our sex life’s. Even when I lost my virginity something was missing. My first time was horrible; it was like being at the rodeo and riding a Bucking Bronco, I was over in 30 seconds.

I remember laying there being asked; “Was it good for you”? I wanted to say, No!! You got yours, where’s mine? It was nothing like what I saw in the porn, there wasn’t any opportunity to moan and groan. Shit, there wasn’t even time for foreplay; it was just in, out, over! Now as time went by the sex got better, I guess? But let’s be honest, in your teens and in your twenties, fucking is just for the sport of it. It’s all sloppy kisses, premature ejaculations and fake orgasms. I’ve had the same experiences with most one night stands also. I believe to really enjoy and have good/ great sex; you need to know and be comfortable with your body.

As I started to mature in to my sexually, I found my sexual appetite increasing and I started to get more aggressive in the bedroom. Some found this exciting; they’d brag that they had a lady in the streets but freak in the sheets. However when we were behind closed doors things changed. Some were uncomfortable with how uninhibited I was. Some felt insecure and not able to rise to the occasion let’s say. Same shamed me for my sexually desires and others were convinced that because my desire to have sex was so frequently, that I must be getting some dick on the side and so therefore I was an unfaithful girlfriend. For the gentlemen who thought the latter I say “Duh!!!!” that’s what dildo or vibrators are for.

Unfortunately this was one of the many reasons why my marriage ended. Not that my X wasn’t thrilled to have a 24/7 uber horny wife. But 12 years of boosting about how his sex life was like a porn movie and truth be told that it was 12 years of the missionary position. If I dared tired introducing anything new to our sex life, it meant that I was a cheating whore of a wife, I was just done. I couldn’t fake it any longer, I was tired of living a prudish sex life. I was ready to own the sexual beast I am.

So now we fast forward to present day. Today I’m a sexually librated 40 plus year old women who is not afraid of sharing her desires and fantasies. I’m still always on the ready to pleasure myself or my boyfriend. I’m not afraid to show appreciation for a little hair pulling or a nice smack on the ass that might leave a mark. I have no shame in being vocal in the throes of passion or feeling like a kid on Christmas day opening a new sex toy. I’ve owned my inner Sex Kitten. I celebrate being a Voluptuous Vixen and so can you.

I want my blog to help those sexually suppressed soccer moms and their partners reclaim their sexuality and just be free. Good sex does not end in your 40’s, 50’s or 60’s. It does not end when you’ve had kid either. You could be having great sex, amazing sex, eyes rolling in the back of your head, sweat dripping down your back, cum flying on your face, outrageous sex at any age or any stage in your life. So, recharge those turbo powered vibrators, replenish your lube supply. Pull those dormant pussies and cocks out of retirement and get you freak on!