Done with the shame game, coming out of the shadows

Happy New Year 2024

Happy New Year 2024

Well my bedroom beasties, here we are 2024. It feels like 2023 just flew by. Please let me apologize for my lackluster attempt to stay on top of my blogging the second half of this past year. Life just kinda smacked me in the face the last 6 months of the year, leaving me a bit overwhelmed, exhausted and emotionally spent. From starting a great new job that has brought me some great opportunities professionally, and yet even more to come I believe. Dealing with a now 15 yr child who is becoming a remarkable young adult. He’s driven, focused, respectful and responsible. He’s a budding Rockstar and I will do anything to nurture this budding talent of his. He’s still a teenager though, so he still needs Mom to help him navigate  through some angst of being a teenager in this topsy turvy world of ours. 

I’ve had many health issues this past year. New diagnosis, new aliments, new medications, which has come  with some horrible side effects. Unfortunately as I’m getting older some of my pre-existing health issues are becoming more present and it only reminds me of the events that brought on some of these health issues of mine. 

I’ve had a bit of depression, PTSD and anxiety this past year. This has also brought on some fear. Fears to be social, or engaging with friends, family.  However, I did find the ability to make some new friends.  It is actually a small group of remarkable women. We range in age from our 30’s to our 50’s, me being the eldest of the group. But I believe I found the right group of people to call friends. Not judgy, or self-abosted. Just down to earth, amazing, beautiful women I can laugh with and commiserate with and cry with when needed. That ‘s a really good feeling to know that I can make friends at this stage in my life. Especially female friends that I can trust.  There are other issues I’ve dealt with this past year, but that’s a whole other blog for another time.    

     As we embark on this new year of course there is always the list of resolutions to make. Again,  I’m not fond of resolutions. I’d rather make goals that can be re-evaluated every so often or tweaked as needed. My goals for this 2024 year will be to-

#1. Be the best employee I can be. I take pride in my work ethic. I have an opportunity at work to start a whole department and I really want to take the bull by the horns and run with this opportunity and make this my baby. Own this opportunity and make it shine.

#2. Being healthy is of course one of my goals. With all the ailments I have, staying on top of my health issues is a must. This is getting in my walks, watching my sugar, carb, gluten and dairy.  All of these contribute to some of my health issues. Go in when being told  by my doctors to do my blood work and other necessary tests to keep track of my neverending health issues. I do need to address my chronic pain with my doctor’s. Although I have a high tolerance for pain, something has to give to help me resolve the continuous pain I feel every bloody fucking  day. I’ve put this on the back burner for far too long. But the numerous sleepless nights and intense body pain has to be addressed sooner than later.

#3. Save money, I will be an empty nester in 2 years. I need to start setting money aside for my child as he’s getting ready to go off to college. I know that his father will help, but sometimes his father’s not the most financially  responsible adult.  So I need to make sure he’s prepared when he’s about to venture out on his own.

#4. Be consistent with my blogging, checking  and answering my emails. I’ve got to setup a schedule and stick to it as much as possible. I’ve got a hold myself accountable for my own stuff.

#5. Go out more, be in the community more, don’t be afraid to be around new people. I tend to shut myself in, believing that will keep me safe. This goal I think will help with the assistance of  some therapy possibly. 

#6. Continue to pray and build my relationship with my higher power. Yes, even I an Erotic Blogger have and want a relationship with my Higher Power. 

#7. Last but not least , be good to myself. Defend myself appropriately when necessary. Be impeccable with my words when addressing my needs, wants, likes and dislikes in the world and with difficult people. Know when to give a flying fuck about things in my life. Don’t sweat the small stuff or let the fuckards of the world pollute my space or derail me. 

Now this being good to myself and taking care of myself of course means sexually. I haven’t played on the regular in a long time. I’ve tried to play in random moments, but I just can’t physically or I just can’t mentally. There’s been a bit of a block with the build up. Just when I think I can get my “O” it all gets deflated by some off the wall bit of anxiety, worry or false beliefs of myself not being a good person. So my goal is to make that change this year. Know that I deserve and need to get my playtime in on the regular and for God sake get a thighs trembling, eyes rolling in the back of my head, sweat rolling down the back of my neck  orgasm  as often as possible. I think It will make me a happier person all around and will differently put that pep back in my step that I think I have been missing the last six months of 2023. 

So stay tuned for the adventures of my naughty, sexy and very colorful life. My 2024 will be a year of better opportunities, better health and bigger and better orgasms!